Friday, August 29, 2014

Sometimes When You Are so Blessed, You Start Seeing Your Blessings as Trials


I don't mean to say that my life is perfect because it most definitely isn't. What I am trying to say is that when we are used to getting what we want, we begin to see spontaneous blessings from Heaven as trials. Let me explain.
A few months ago I was hired to teach at BYU-Idaho in the English department as an adjunct professor. I was very excited and very nervous for this opportunity. I had been hoping to get this job ever since I finished my student teaching in the Spring of 2013. I didn't know if I would qualify, however, since I don't have a master's degree. Anyway, I did get the job and everything seemed to be hunky dorey. Then summer hit and everything got a little crazy: weddings, reunions, family trips, birthdays, girls camp, and canning. On top of all of this, we decided it would be best to rent a house with my parents in order to ease the burdens placed on my dad and my younger sister. Between looking for a house, being a mom, a wife, a teacher in preparation, and everything else, it was hard to stay sane. I was feeling a little overwhelmed to say the least. And then it came, out of the blue, I am Pregnant! What!? How on earth did this happen? I really didn't think I was going to make it through the year alive. I felt like this was the last straw. I couldn't help but feel that Heavenly Father was trying to see just how far He could push me. I cried... a lot. I didn't feel well, and I wasn't sure if I could do it all. That's when I realized that I was looking at it all wrong. I was sitting in Young Women's last Sunday and the lesson was on families. We talked about the importance of being mothers in Zion and raising righteous, faithful children. A story was shared about a girl who was smart and talented and she chose motherhood over a career. Her leaders and teachers told her she was wasting her gifts. When I heard this story, I was appalled. I couldn't believe that someone would feel that way about motherhood. And then  I realized that I was being that person in my own way. I was the person who felt like being a mother and expecting another precious child was a trial, an extra burden for me to bear. When in reality, this is my purpose. Being a mother is what I came here to do. Sure I can be a teacher and help and serve those around me, but in the end, the most important thing I can do is to help raise the next generation. My burden/trial wasn't a trial at all. Although being sick and tired all the time really isn't any fun, I am excited to be a mother of two. I am happy that my body is healthy and capable of bearing children. What a marvelous gift I have been given. I only hope I can be worthy of it.

1 comment:

  1. I love your insight. It's true we ofte think of our greatest blessings as just another challenge keeping us from achieving are important goals. It is easy to forget what the important ones really are.

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